“Getting what you want is simple, but not easy.”
– Mel Robbins (all quotes contained within are hers)
Before I even get to the meat of this post I want to share a little disclaimer.
None of the ideas contained in here are mine, only the insights in which I draw from the ideas.
First things first, and in order to provide more context to this post, I strongly urge you to visit You Tube and watch the following video:
How to stop screwing yourself over
”1/3 of Americans feel dissatisfied with their lives right now.”
You may or may not be shocked by this statement, but let it sink in for a second. That’s a whole lot of people that are dissatisfied with their lives, and if you are one of them, this post is for you!!!
This feeling of dissatisfaction is something many of us have felt for a number of years, but have never been in a position where things felt bad enough to really jolt us out of our normal routine. Each day we go about life in mostly the same way, doing the same things, feeling the same way. But what if I told you, this is only our programming? And it is due to the fact that we we simply believe we are *fine*.
”If you’re fine you don’t have to do anything about it.”
That’s right you heard it! Fine is basically the worst thing you can be, because it sets you up to stay dissatisfied with your life for as long as you use that word to describe it. And why you might ask, is saying my life is fine, preventing me from getting all that I want out of life?
“That thing you’ve wanted. I guarantee, you’ve convinced yourself you’re fine not having it.”
Mic dropped. Earth shaking. Mind blown. This is pretty much how I felt when I heard these words. Hell yes!!! This is exactly why I have felt stagnant in my life and have not gone after the things I have wanted or felt passionate about. I totally convinced myself I am fine without them. I simply carry on without as much as a second thought. Does this feeling resonate with anyone else? Do you feel like you’re stuck living a life that isn’t bringing you satisfaction or fulfillment? Well, you are not alone, because about 100 million other people feel the exact same way!!!
So if we’re all SO dissatisfied, yet FINE with our lives, what can we do to start to shift this paradigm for ourselves?
“We’re all in this category, 1:400 trillion.”
How about taking a moment to first let that little stat sink in! We are ALL 1:400 trillion!!! I don’t know about you, but it’s pretty cool to think about that figure, when most days we often feel pretty darn ordinary; especially when it comes to where we are at in our lives. Sure we have ideas all the time and sometimes we start to explore those ideas, but most times they fizzle out and nothing becomes of them. We have ideas about how we want to change our lives. Whether it’s our job, our salary, our relationships, our hobbies, etc., we think about making changes more than we’d probably like to admit. Like Mel says, we think about it and then take no action because we have convinced ourselves we are fine without it. But here’s the thing with this pattern, it never allows us to see the change we desire in our lives.
“In any area of your life that you want to change, there’s one fact you need to know. You’re never going to feel like it.”
Second mic drop! OMG, is this woman inside my own head??? Because it certainly feels like it! Why can’t I choose to get up a little earlier each morning to knock out my workout? Why can’t I commit to healthy eating 90% of the time? Why do I have periods of unhappiness in my relationship? Why? Why? Why? Some of these questions might come up for you too, after all, if you fall into the 1/3 of Americans who are dissatisfied with their lives, you’ve probably had these same thoughts and more, yet have not figured out a way to change them. And the reason you have not been able to make a change is the simple, but not easy, part.
”Physical force is required to change your behavior.”
Things do not happen by sitting on your ass (as much as I know we all love to sit on our ass) 😉 We have to actually use physical force to do the things we don’t feel like doing, because the brain prefers to operate on auto-pilot and anything outside our routine is subject to force in order to accomplish.
“It’s your job to make yourself do the crap you don’t want to do.” – on parenting yourself
It’s safe to say anyone reading this has not been a child in quite some time, thus we have had to parent ourselves since we left the nest. Problem is, we don’t force ourselves to do the crap we don’t want to do like our parents once did. Instead we just ignore it, say we’re fine not doing it and continue about our normal routine, when really what we need to do is anything but.
“Your parents made you do the things you didn’t feel like doing. Because you won’t. EVER.”
Yep. That simple. So how do we apply this to getting what we want out of life? How do we get unstuck and start living the life we want?
You literally have to force yourself to do the things you do not feel like doing! That means setting your alarm thirty minutes earlier or taking the time to write down your ideas as they come to you so you don’t forget to put them into action. The things we want out of life will not happen by sitting idle and if we keep waiting to feel like doing the things we know we need to do, nothing will change. You will keep living the same dissatisfying life you are fine with.
Are you starting to wake up now? Are you still content being fine? Lets take this a step further and dig a little deeper into why you never feel like doing the things you need to change your life.
“One side of your brain is auto-pilot. The other side is emergency brake. That’s the only two speeds you’ve got!”
So basically your brain prefers to work in a mode in which it has to use very little energy (auto-pilot). It and you are comfortable here (note I said comfortable and not content). And any time you try and introduce something into your life that is outside your normal routine, what does your brain do? I bet you guessed! It hits the emergency brake! Essentially killing that thing you are doing, that is different, in its tracks!
“Anything that is a break from your routine is going to require force.”
And it’s going to blow the first couple times you try. Hell, maybe even the first dozen, but if you can make it over the initial hump of sucky-ness, you can start to do the things that have always eluded you. The things that have required an act of physical force, that you may have not known until now.
“It’s the routine that’s killing you.”
The things we do day in and day out without question are our problem. We are so programmed that it makes it very difficult to introduce new elements to our routine or to try and completely change our routine. And before you start to feel like this whole thing may be helpless, like you have SO much you need to force yourself to do to realize the change you want out of life. Remember…
“When you feel stuck or dissatisfied in life, it’s a signal, and not a signal that your life is broken. It’s a signal that one of your most basic needs is not being met. Your need for exploration.”
“Force yourself out of your head.”
And do the things you don’t feel like doing. Eventually those things will become a part of your routine and you will have transformed your life without even really knowing it. Don’t think about how acutely aware you are of how much doing the things you don’t feel like doing will suck. Think about how good it will feel once you no longer feel like you don’t feel like it, and become everything you were meant to be.
“Your problem isn’t that you don’t have ideas, it’s that you kill them.”
Realize you have been lacking the physical force it takes to turn your ideas into reality. Start forcing yourself out of your head and into action. And see your life start to become all you want it to be.
More fun from Mel. Use the 5 Second Rule:
Marry your impulse with an action within 5 seconds or your brain will pull the emergency break.
If part of feeling more satisfied with your life involves your health and fitness and achieving goals you have not yet been able to attain, working with a coach may be just what you need to overcome some of your barriers and get you out of your head and focused on getting what you want.
Contact email@example.com if you’d like to learn more about coaching and how it can help you transform your health and fitness today.