Defeat is a state of mind. No one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as reality.
– Bruce Lee
How often do we accept defeat before we’ve even figured out what’s getting in the way of achieving our goals? We’ve become so accustomed to not reaching the goals we set for ourselves that we accept certain defeat from the get-go, because we’ve never really taken the time to do some close self examination to determine just how we are getting in our own way.
Deep right? Truth? For me this is a resounding yes! I can identify many times in my life where I wanted to set out to reach a goal, but basically self sabotaged from the outset, never removing the barriers that were going to prevent me from ever reaching that goal. Somewhat of a self fulfilling prophecy, but SO common! But ask yourself this:
Do you really believe it is possible to reach a goal that you don’t actually believe you can reach ???
If your answer is a resounding NO, congratulations, you have just passed step one, realization. This may be something you never really took the time to think about in past attempts to make lifestyle changes, but a necessary part of the process. Realizing you are getting in your own way is essential in order to start to identify exactly what is holding you back from achieving your health and fitness goals, and any other goals you may have for that matter.
You may be thinking, ok Lauren but WTF. So I have realized I am self sabotaging, but you’re not telling me what the hell I need to do to stop doing that. And this is where I calmly tell you something you’re probably not going to want to hear.
Change is a process. It doesn’t happen overnight. It takes consistency over time to reach your goals. And identifying appropriate goals are the keys to consistency.
Ok so I am sure you are thinking, great, but you’re still not telling us anything actionable. How do I know how to set appropriate goals that will enable me to consistently practice the skills that it will take to reach those goals?
Great question! And part of what I want to dive deeper into over the course of the next week. I know we live in an instant gratification world where we want everything NOW, but I’ll let you in on a little secret, patience is an essential ingredient to achieving anything in life that has great meaning to you. In order to ensure you really grasp the process I am going to lay out for you on how to identify the barriers getting in your way of success and removing them for good, we’re gonna have to break it down into digestible chunks. I want the process to be something you can attack in the appropriate order and pace so you don’t set yourself up for a death spiral that leaves you spinning out of control, not knowing which way is up or down or how to even get started.
I do not believe in information overload. I believe in tactical information sharing that puts things in the best context, allowing the best chance of success for the goal trying to be achieved. I’m sure history has shown in your own life, that when you tried to tackle too much at once or give yourself too many rules to follow, you may have been able to handle it for a brief time, but inevitably burned out as quickly as you accepted the barrage of tasks.
Today I’m here to tell you that it’s ok to slow it down. To understand that defeat is often pre-determined by barriers we have built up ourselves and that it takes a conscious mental shift to realize this is happening and to take action against it so history no longer repeats itself.
Can I get an Amen!!!
Life goes by quickly enough without adding the stress of self imposed deadlines. Deadlines that, by the way, are likely completely unrealistic. But in all fairness, you maybe didn’t realize this until now. After all, we have been programmed to think that setting hard deadlines increases the likelihood that said thing will get done or said goal will be achieved, but what this programming does not allow for is the identifying of our own unique limiting factors (another way to term those nasty barriers we set up to sabotage ourselves). And I can say with pretty firm confidence that deadlines also produce a kind of stress that has no business being part of creating sustainable lifestyle changes.
So over the course of the next week I will be revealing the steps you can take to start to overcome your self sabotaging ways and to no longer accept certain defeat from the outset of your journey.
Stronger by eliminating barriers,